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15th December 2009
haha, christmas. Hope it's not as much of a crock of shit as Thanksgiving. If it weren't for a visiting brother, I'd rather stay on the road. I feel safe in this 25x12 hotel room/cell than I do there. Stress? What stress? At least I'm making bank. :
Ha, I saw a guy wearing a bikini kill patch today. gosh.
1st December 2009
My parents are the biggest excuse for "kill whitey" than I've ever seen. I'm not placing myself in that scene for a while. I refuse to act classy in a situation that to me, seems like a bunch of liberal hacks acting like they are for the working man, when they look down on him/her in the most desperate of times. While the tax is appreciated on that $100.00 bottle of wine, the 6 or so percent the working man got off it is not even penence. You all won't see me next year. I'll be crafting my cajun green bean casserole to a finer mix and drinking pbr, 'cause I can and will. I appreciate my parents, I simply can not see eye-to-eye with the finer things in life. Lord knows, I like an $8 six-pack and $2 red peppers, but the level of aristocracy, goddamn. I'd rather be living between the street and an apartment and free, than to live with those chains. If eating meat, being possession oriented, and isolating two-thirds of your children is really what being old is about; I want no part of it. :
Greensboro is a bigger joke each time I enter that city. I only realize the circular logic when I'm not there. Everyone is doing the same thing as when I left them. May be I haven't given them enough time? But I really think that most of em' should've moved on more than a year ago.
Andd My room mate is shady as hell. And he's accusing me of being that? gosh. I just want to get out of that situation as soon as freaking possible. The guy's on cocaine and doesn't want to fucking admit it. It's so shitty and not worth my time. At all.
I just want some sense of normalcy when I'm actually staying at home and not back for a night and staying at a hotel. By x-mas I should not be in this situation at all. I can't believe I've placed myself in this position, again, especially now making as much cash as I have been.
Hopefully will be, I have two phone interviews tomorrow for GM positions at fairly sizable, limited service hotels. One in Hickory (haha), the other in Durham. $60-65k/yr+good benefits positions, though and hell, at this age, I'll move anywhere for that bank. Later this week, sup shit-town Alabama near Montgomery and some suburb outside of Richmond called something-pump (flat pump, maybe?). The offers are there, with out many or really, any feelers.
That said, the current job isn't bad at all, even though I don't see any light at the end of the tunnel with this property. There are so many problems. So many people who just need to shut the fuck up (or as of tonight, stop doing hard drugs on the job). The wheels of change are here, let's move it forward.
"Seems like I've got so much more to lose now than I ever had before"
16th November 2009
I believe it now
career advancement buys excitement but cuts personal lives off, for the sake of being busy. Money bought me drinks, to stave off said forgiveness. My newly found hiding has bought me shit. :
I feel like I read this as a kid. I reached that pinnacle I was supposed to reach and now I'm floundering. Sure, I might put 80 hours into an office/week and love it while I'm there but hate that I have no personal relationships outside of said colony. I hate this but I don't mind the money. I hate this but don't mind the money.
I feel 15 all over again. Hell, like that girl I had dinner tonight with was my first and only love.
6th November 2009
I'm no so much scared at my past, at all. I should be more scared at room/home 908 at Holiday Inn Charleston, WV. I packed a suitcase full of clothes (which have been cleaned more times in two weeks than probably ever before), but damn man, I need a filing cabinet. So much work. So much work. Leisure? please? tomorrow. :
Screw the economy, I'm hiring for upper management and it sucks to find.
1st November 2009
welcome to the working week
So this is what corporate work feels like. Busy 12 hour days and keep your head above the free booze as much as humanly possible. I really don't mind West Virginia as much as I thought I would. It's fun to explore on my bike and yea, the views are nice, as well. Got news tonight that I may end up in Florida by x-mas with a promotion if I continue to do the sort of job performance I am currently. Nice. Greensboro's not looking that great compaired to the things I'm undertaking here. The friends, the booze, the "college life" isn't all that appealing anymore, or at least not on the level that it was. People seem so irresponsible, so young? Or may be I simply pissed the whole city off. Probably the latter and I love it.
18th October 2009
I've chosen a move, yes. I know I can't make much more than I am currently in this city, again yes. The responsible reasons totally make sense. :
aw hell, I'll garnish my personal feelings off of what I want. I should be eating, drinking and being merry but this birthday has been treating me shitty. From the pork I was fed last night (luxury place, misquoted me on my food item, even though I haven't eaten meat in a decade), to work taking up 90% of my time.
28th September 2009
husker du changes lives. :
no really. listen.
3rd September 2009
west virginia with great pay, sacromento,ca with mediocre, or greensboro with friends and below average pay? :
I feel as if i'm at some sort of crossroads. I really have to decide, for once if I need to make a 'career move.' charleston, w. virginia no how long I'm there (six months to three years) seems like a death trap. Like a Cullowhee on fucking steroids. A lot of very fat people too. a lot. but I digress.
sacromento is pretty far and there will be for sure no turning back. This seems fairly attractive only in that I feel as if I'm feeling like a big fish in a small pond.
And the status quo honestly feels alright. The money's not that bad but there's little room for growth. I'm told that I'm irreplacable for this city's hosptality industry and that was made very apparent when I was asked to come back to this company. that said, I'm not in the 40k/yr range, and I want to reach retirement at some point.
so, it's back to making tough decisions while keeping my moral and self compasses in mind.
corporate vs. mom and pop, 7 days a week vs. 5 and 1/2, friend circle vs. establishing a completely new one in paces I have limted experiences in.
whatever decide, it better be fun!
25th June 2009
"I miss you all the time, but I'm blocking it out"
15th June 2009
blaze of glory
"you know what, sir. I'm tired of taking your shit everyday - even when I'm not in the building. Consider this my resignation from this job. Thanks, have a great day, asshole." :
employment opportunities, anyone?
10th June 2009
county lock-up is no fun
but that had to be done. :
Two weeks, no work. One paid, one not. But I needed time for decompression. Work has gotten me VERY stressed lately and the only real way for me to not go crazy, while dealing with all these problems in my head (with out drinking away and not eating) was for this to happen. I'm glad it did and I'm pleasantly surprised that my close friends have noticed some sort of a change: I'm actually happy and looking forward to tomorrow. That's a lot more than can be said ever since I took this position over, whether officially or unintentionally.
That said, I'm only working this god-damned job until the Winter. I've found in the last week that I really, really dig the entertainment industry and truly love the people and places it will take me. Beyond that, I have a definite in. This band has me already talking to the "right" people - to those so-called execs everyone needs to know to do anything. My background and resume already speak for themselves, now it's up to me to network - both digitally and otherwise.
I'm also booking my first 30+ day tour this month and July for November. This time, it'll be Southern. After that, I'm going to try and start some sort of booking agency and take on a client, while managing the current band. I'm very excited. Of course, all of this is preemptive as hell but I need this "on paper", so to speak.
30th May 2009
I'll be leaving on tour in August, with out places to stay for the most part and not real knowledge of areas, here are the dates: :
Thurs. August 6th - 9pm The Camel in Richmond, VA
Fri. August 7th - TBD (Charlottesville, DC, Baltimore)
Sat. August 8th - TBD (DC, Baltimore, NJ)
Sun. August 9th - Recording GBA 3 track in NYC
Mon. August 10th - Recording GBA 3 track in NYC (Sidewalk open mic)
Tues. August 11th - 8pm Pianos in New York, NY
Wed. August 12th - 11pm Spike Hill in Brooklyn, NY
Thurs. August 13th - 10pm All Asia in Boston, MA
Fri. August 14th - TBD (CT, NJ)
Sat. August 15th - 10pm The Fire in Philadelphia, PA
Sun. August 16th - TBD (Virginia...or could be a drive home day as Sundays are slow nights)
also, we'll be in athens and hotlanta on August 27th/28th/29th.
If you're from any of these areas, please let me know of any alt-weeklies or how good the venue is. (aside from Richmond, that seems to be covered - thanks sarah/beringer (sp?))
life's rough, but this is all super exciting. And to Greensboro: Greene Street this Saturday!
13th May 2009
2x - unprotected sex
I wish that I could say that I don't know about that situation, but I do. The man is even interested. I wish I could do that in person, because I would, but it's most certainly not my place (or problem). :
I'm just glad I got over mine. Call me when you want to get over yours.
11th May 2009
Onto the job
So, after months of getting it shoved up my ass, I'm leaving my job. I've been at this hotel for three years and have, at some point, done every function of this place - from line cook to supervising the housekeeping department to sales to front desk, clerical work. :
This has to be one of the lowest points in my working life.
I had to sit in a meeting where the CFO of the company started laughing at employee complaints on vendor problems and belittling the whole staff saying that his ten million dollar investment mattered much more than our "little" $500 cheques.
I can take a lot and have taken a lot, but that's a little too insulting for me. I realize I'm fairly well paid for what I do but I'm not going to say "thanks massa" to anyone. I'm not that weak.
Admittedly, I'll miss the 9-5 work schedule and the daily challenges but there's no way in the world that I could miss the stress, the bringing work home, and the lack of sleep that has already caused one person in particular to disappear from my life.
Oh, and thanks for the three days (and counting) late paycheck, assholes.
12th April 2009
like I won't be alive tomorrow. :
Forget about any sort of rational thought: I went from quiet life, quiet person, to a room mate in my spare bedroom and another one in my basement. Showing up late on a daily basis to the nine-to-five shit-job that simply represents security and too much padding for my own good. I was getting fat and lazy, so this is the change: I'm signing a contract this Friday that will turn what was a hobby, music into a viable, at least by my standards, career path. Oh, and I have "God Save the South" tattooed to my upper left back.
Life is swell, again.
15th March 2009
I was sleepin' just fine
And I still am, really. But the stale feeling of dru(g/nk) kids misunderstanding my kindness and relaxed personality for weakness is no longer fleeting. That said, a firm explanation of the situation should be delivered: :
The gal I was dating/living with is a very confused, fucked up little thing. This has become certainly more painfully obvious in the last thirty days that we went our respective ways. And up to last Friday I did my best to avoid any social situation completely by not replying to phone messages, calls, facebook jabs, etc. because honestly, I am far happier with out that woman in my life. But I digress, so after responding to a request for an after-party birthday fiesta at my crib, the said woman shows up. Drunk as a skunk and probably on about five other substances (I realize it was cold and rainy but I've never seen anyone not on cocaine rub their nose that much). After attempting to flirt with me for a while, her new live-in boyfriend showed up and of course, her target changed. I realize that this is somewhat completely normal, but the fact that I did my best to not only send negative signals and also verbalize "I don't want to have any kind of communication with you any longer" would perhaps suffice. (not to mention the picture-texts of shit that my friend Aubrey sent her, unbeknownst to me - that was actually pretty unique.)
And this is going nowhere, so I'm not going to attempt to write on it any longer. Basically, that woman is crazy and drunk/etc too often for me. Get a job, then play hard.
I think I also got bored writing this whole entry. Christ, this will get a good update at some point.
3rd February 2009
forward, onward, etc.etc. :
today was better than yesterday
yesterday was better than the day before
the day before was better than the day before that
and more more more more
House warming party next week. Call me!
26th January 2009
lord help me through this week
- Village inn pizza on 127 burned? it's the end of my childhood, thanks a lot arsonists! :
- Girliefriend left me - and of course that whole "get-the-fuck-outta-my-face-I'm-going-to-k
ill-everyone-that's-not-the-girl,cunts" aesthetic came out; that sucked pretty hard.
- Moving in a week or two, I think a block down mendenhall (close to where ms. rafferty sp? lives)
- I'm really tired of living like a prisoner in my life
really, really tired of that.
15th January 2009
the eeoc is useless
After all is said and done, false claims of racial prejudice in a professional setting will be the death of my liberal nature. And sadly, I'm half not-kidding. :
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry for something I didn't do; lynched somebody, I don't know who? You blame me for slavery a hundred years before I was born. Guilty of being white."
4th November 2008
thank god the Obama supporters won't be knocking on my door at all times of day anymore, finally at last. No more hangover saturdays interrupted by "young faces"